Let’s be honest – it can feel both strange and embarrassing to ask a complete stranger if they’d like to meet up sometime for a coffee or a glass of wine? Few people will do that while waiting for the bus or having a chat before the gym class, even if the person they’re talking to seems genuinely nice and outgoing, and would most likely be really happy to be asked out on a friend-date!
Meeting friends is an active choice
The perk of being part of a digital community, such as GoFrendly, is that you can be sure that every member has made the active choice to meet new friends. So seize the opportunity and don’t let a potential friendship slip away while waiting for the person at the other end of the chat to pluck up the courage! It’s most likely that the other person is just as anxious as you are, and the risk is high that nothing will ever happen if you don’t take the initiative to contact a couple of interesting like-minded individuals.
But what should I ask, and when?
We believe that it’s best to arrange a meetup as early as possible when the conversation is still fresh and in a flow. Don’t make things too complicated! If the friend you’ve been chatting to has expressed her love for white wines from Southern France, well then ask if she’s free next Thursday after work! If she likes to work out, ask if you could join for a run on Saturday. If you’re both on parental leave, suggest meeting at your favourite café, or in the park! Once again, don’t overcomplicate things and keep it simple (even though we know it is nerve-wracking and that fear of rejection kicks in).
Just be casual about it and start the conversation based on the description in the profile, focus on the things you have in common.
“You’re getting back to your running-routine, so do I and we seem to live in the same area. I really like the path by the river, where do you usually jog?”
“I see that you are a coffee addict, just like myself! I’ll meet a friend for a cup of coffee on Tuesday afternoon, would you like to join us?”
“I’m also at home with my 2-year-old right now and would love to get out of the house for some air. Are you free on Friday morning, maybe we can meet up and take a walk together or go to the park?”
To summarise, these are our 3 best pieces of advice when it comes to dating for friendship:
- Suggest a meeting as early as possible! Don’t wait until your conversation comes to a halt. It’s better to meet while you have a flow and can build your meetup based on the initial conversation you had in GoFrendly.
- Suggest an activity – cinema, coffee, glass of wine, a long walk or game night! We all love when someone is taking the initiative and being creative with suggestions.
- Suggest a date for the meetup (e.g. next Tuesday, in the upcoming two weeks, this weekend?). This way it is more likely to get the planning going and that something comes out of it!
We hope that you feel inspired to expand your social circle and create new friendships along the way. As soon as you find someone’s profile interesting, just contact them directly and GO FOR IT! You’ve got nothing to lose! Okay, now you are probably thinking “what if the person is not answering?”. Well yeah, that can happen but then there are thousands of members in our community that you will find interesting and that would be happy to meet you. You can also try and meet up with a group of girls if you’re more comfortable with that, check out the activity calendar for your local meetups created by the community members in your area. The thing you’re least likely to regret is having given it a try!